Tag Archives: partner

Yeah yeah husband schmusband

It’s an easy life being married, you know?  Aaahahahahaa, I couldn’t even type that with a straight face.  I’m 29, married and I’m a mom.  When the hell did that happen?!  Last time I checked, I was living the high life of a casual relationship, ok-paying job and parties that only ended at closing time.  I had no clue that by the age of 30, I would find myself living the glamorous life of stay at home mom, wife and part time worker.

I never take it for granted as it’s many a’ woman’s dream to do what I do, but some days, I’m not all that thrilled.  The being a mom to a toddler part is awesome and horrible all at the same time, but I wouldn’t change it.  The really big challenge in life is staying in love with the one person I got to pick to be in my life: the spouse.  I often wonder what conned me into a life of smiling, hugging, kissing, fighting, ignoring and loving this Noah guy.  He’s an alright guy but why him?

A lot of people pick someone who ends up being like someone they know and trust within their family or friends but Noah was like no noah and meone else.  He didn’t talk much, but when he did, I ate up every word.  We argued and said horrible things to each other, but nothing that ever pushed each other away permanently (obviously).  He means well to every one he meets and he is the most loyal friend you could ever ask for.  He respects me as a friend, a confidante, his wife, the mother to his child and overall, a human being.  He’s an excellent provider and always has our family’s best interest at heart.  We may seem awkward and uninterested in each other in public, but behind closed doors, we aren’t that put off by each other. 😉

While we argue, we never go to sleep angry.  We find our ways to effectively communicate and it will never be anything that makes sense to anyone else.  It’s kind of like twin sibling language.  He will always be my soul mate even when I feel like he could use a swift kick in the pants.  I try to remember that in all the bad times, they do not compare to all the good we have accomplished together.  Never forget how important your partner is as they will always be apart of your heart and soul.  Even in the sad days, angry days, happy days, yoga pants/not feeling so hot days, pushing out a child days or even the days of holding each other’s head over a toilet, there is nothing more important or supportive in your life than the one you got to pick to have in your life: husband schmusband.

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There is no perfect

When I was little, I was never one of those little girls who played with my barbies and thought ‘When I get married…” WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.  I’ll stop me right there.  That line never even happened.  I never discussed with myself or any of my friends (imaginary or real) that I daydreamed about married life.  Not really sure why, but no, it was never a topic.  To be honest, I really DID NOT think I was going to get married.  I didn’t exactly come from a long line of happily married folks so that definitely did not catapult me into the ‘wedding daydreaming’ stratosphere.

I was fooled by some mythological belief that marriage is really only making any relationship ‘special and verified’ by some nice stock piece of paper.  (It actually comes on a piece of copy paper with a notary stamp on it.)  I was not going to give in to this belief and I was going to just be happy with Noah and I kicking it bf/gf style for however long until we needed each other for retirement benefits.  Sad logic, I know, but I think I was more fearful of making Noah feel tied down to me (come on, I’m not exactly the easiest person to be with and in recent years, I haven’t been too easy on the eyes).  We haven’t been the idol couple (is there such a thing?) ever in our years together, but eh, I wasn’t shooting for any Nobel Peace Prize either.

But what I came to terms with was we weren’t going to be and didn’t need to be anything perfect.  We just needed to need and love each other; we were definitely full of that!  So after Lucas shoved us through 9 months of rehab and 2 months of getting some sort of idea of getting out of the newborn fog, we came to terms with what we were now and what we needed to be.  We needed to commit to each other fully for us now as a family and to our son.  Yep, we got married.  And for all of you people who are still on that side of the fence saying ‘Oh, it’s just a piece of paper, we don’t need it to change our relationship to validate it’, guess what?!  Marriage isn’t a parking pass you get stamped at the restaurant; it’s actually a beautiful sign to each other of love and commitment you have.  If you fear marriage or have a bad taste in your mouth about any idea of a significant other, get some help!  You are missing out.

I didn’t realize how awesome it was until I was married.  Noah is amazing and he truly is the perfect fit to me as neither of us are easy to get along with but we put up with each other’s crap and we make each other smile.  Most importantly, we bond so much as parents (it’s pretty cool to watch us).  Lucas will always be the greatest thing that ever happened to us as he made us realize how awesome being married to each other is.  Now I’m not saying find some random person, skip to LV and throw down at the Little Chapel of Bells.  You truly have to invest in each other, push each other’s buttons and make a meal together.  And don’t base your ‘image’ or your feelings on what you think is the perfect couple; you’ll only make yourself miserable.  Invest in knowing your strengths and weaknesses and what you bring to the table, understand that of your significant other.  Stick it out for THE ONE, folks… It does happen!

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