Monthly Archives: April 2012

Just remember: it’s not personal

The more and more I spend time in ‘isolation’, the more I understand how alienated I have become.  But, I can see a lot more things and people more clearly and I’m really glad to have this time.  One of the things I’ve noticed is how ‘personal’ Facebook has become.  I’ll be the first to admit I’m on it frequently and use it frequently.  I didn’t realize that people were limited on their usage of such a tool.  I enjoy it as a free tool to show my family across the states what we are up to and to remain friends with folks who used to be apart of my days.

Now this may be an extreme, but some people are using Facebook as motive for killings and other drastic measures.  UM WHAT?!  Come on, folks, it’s just Facebook.  I’ve overheard people say they are afraid to ‘friend’ or ‘not friend’ or ‘de-friend’ someone as they don’t want to hurt their feelings.  REALLY?!  It’s a website and it doesn’t need to be that personal.  Just because you do or do not want someone seeing what you are up to doesn’t mean feelings should be hurt.  I thought we lived in such a jaded, desensitized world that it wouldn’t be this big of a deal.

But I will note, I have had my feeling hurt or put down by not things said on Facebook, but things people say in relation to Facebook.  Apparently, people have become so desensitized, they forgot how to give someone a phone call or drop by with a coffee; they just say ‘Oh, I’ve been following you on Facebook, so I know what’s going on’.  So now Facebook feeds erase the need for person to person conversation? That is most disappointing to hear.  I guess now that we have computers to talk for us, the human race is invalid?  I hope someone will inform me otherwise.

So I just keep telling myself, it’s not personal.  And apparently, everyone else who has something to say regarding the interpersonal relationships developed on these social media sites, guess what?  It’s not personal.

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Just because you know the answer, doesn’t mean you should put in your two cents

I always enjoyed the ways the Northwest has changed me except for one thing.  We live in the land of know it all’s who constantly share unsolicited advice and I’m starting to fall into that trap.  I always enjoyed figuring things out myself but if I was really curious about something, I would hunt down Google or a SME and get myself educated.  As I have grown older and become wiser in some departments, I’ve found myself sharing advice and then I smack myself as I know if I was that person, I probably wouldn’t want to hear what I had to say.

Some topics that really need to be left alone: pregnancy, childbirth, parenting, religion/spirituality, the roaring 20’s and health issues. (I’m certain I’ve left out some other big ones but these are ones that I have seen go wild in the last year)  Pregnancy, childbirth and parenting really does not warrant unsolicited advice unless you believe that the parties involved are in SERIOUS harm.  Otherwise, the human race has been procreating for a number of years and seems to keep figuring it out.  But it needs to go both ways.  I know I need to can it sometimes as most parents become quite passionate about their experiences in these departments, but it can harm trust in a friendship, just like talking about politics.

Religion/spirituality is also hot button like politics as it’s a secret path into the person’s beliefs and it shows their true colors.  We live in a jaded world with everyone having walls somewhere and since passionate conversations pour out of this topic, it’s best just to let it be.

The roaring 20’s is the wild ride many of us take with entering into college and the bar/club scene.  It can be a fun one, but be harmful and dangerous too.  This goes back to an earlier statement, this “does not warrant unsolicited advice unless you believe that the parties involved are in SERIOUS harm”.  Everyone wants to be happy and feel good and everyone seeks it a different way.  No harm, no foul.

And as far as health issues go, if the person is getting help and not neglecting the issue, let them handle it!  Be supportive of someone who is seeking care as you don’t spend day and night with them and do not know exactly what they are going through.  If they are talking to you about it, just be there to listen unless they ask for help.

I do apologize to the people who I’ve pressed my advice upon.  Like I said ‘if I was them, I wouldn’t want that!’.  I, myself, am working on it and I think a lot of people should take note as it would break down a lot of walls in this world if we were more considerate of everyone’s paths in life.


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Home Improvement Project #1: Painting Walls

Today, we were blessed with a beautiful day and helpful people to start our series of home improvement projects.  Today, we painted the walls of our living room and dining room (we have an open floor plan between the living room, dining room and kitchen).  I’ve been nervous for so long regarding painting as I’ve heard so many horror stories, I just don’t have the patience for boo boos that I’ll just stare at and have them burn my eyes.  Today, my husband and I left behind our ‘painting virgin’ titles and became educated painters.  So I’m going to share our journey today as we are now wiser…

After months of sticking paint samples to walls in different times of day to see how the natural light would play with the colors, we came down to charcoal gray.  I truly enjoy the contrast that will happen once we complete a later project involving painting our trim and cabinets white.  We were really concerned about darkening these rooms with too dark of a color as we can be limited on natural light.  Once we began painting, I knew we made the right decision in this color.  We are a modern decor couple who enjoys clean lines and VERY little design clutter (actually, just clutter in general; we frown on it).

Here are some tips we learned today:

-We ‘splurged’ on Behr Premium Plus 2-in-1 primer paint at $30/gal and it was well worth it!  We only had to do one coat and by the time we got to the other side of the room, the beginning side was already dry and we were able to put everything back in it’s place within a half an hour of painting.  I LOVE that paint and I highly recommend it.  We went to Home Depot to get the paint and the gentleman at the paint counter was just so friendly and so informative.  I will always go there for our paint from now on.  (Trust me, we are uber super cheap people and this really was a splurge for us.  But time is money and this paint was worth it)

-While taping is a pain, it’s well worth it in the end.  We used Frog Tape and it gave us such clean lines and the tape went on/came off very easily.

-Make sure you know how to use a roller.  Our friend has done MANY home projects over the years and is well educated in painting techniques.  We were schooled today in applying paint properly (yes, you can apply it wrong and it looks like major crapola).  Make sure your roller has adequate paint on it and apply in a ‘Wu-Tang W’ pattern moving right to left.  We were golden once we got the hang of that.

-Use plastic paint trays.  Paint washes out of those with just water.  Metal ones involve you using a plastic liner, totally wasteful.

-Learn the ‘feathering’ techniques with a brush to get clean edges in corners, along trim, windows and ceilings.

-Don’t forget drop cloths and always watch where you are stepping.  Drop cloths are pointless if you step in a blob and then walk all over your house. (I almost did it, but luckily thought to check my shoes before walking off the cloth!)

-Keep a damp rag or sponge handy to touch up boo boos as you go.

-Once you remove your outlet covers, put tape over them so you don’t have to worry about getting paint on them.  One less thing to watch out for/clean up.

-HAVE FUN!  This is such an easy, fun project if you’ve done your homework on your color and techniques.  And there is nothing more fun than making a house your home.

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This mama flexes her home improvement muscles-Momodcasts

I gib gab about many things that lead up to spring time and home improvement projects! iTunes user or non-iTunes user

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Do you ever wish you could find a way to keep your eyes from blinking so you don’t miss the life that’s passing by?  Every day seems to be a realization that I’m progressing forward at such a rapid rate and I’m not really sure how I feel about it sometimes.  While I’m so excited that Buddy is moving on to toddlerhood, I’m just blown away by where Noah and I are in life.  We are married, he has a very successful/stable career, we are home owners, we talk about health/life/home/car insurance regularly, I’m a stay at home mom, I ENJOY grocery shopping, we are working on home improvements, we attend church services and functions regularly and we don’t go out partying much anymore.  While I no longer know who we are since we evolved so rapidly, I’m growing more fond of us every day.

I love me, us, our family and the thought of us being ‘The Marners’.  While the time to get to this point was not exactly smooth sailing, it built a lot of character in us and that’s what you have to take those kinds of times for.  I can’t get over how pumped I am about painting this weekend.  Um, what?!  I will inform you, this is my first time ever painting.  Noah and I never painted anything (except for the bar I cleaned up) and from what I’ve heard, this is definitely either a marriage builder or breaker.  We’ve had a lot of character building in the past year so eh, what can a little painting do?

If someone who reads this figures out the ‘keeping the eyes open’ thing, I’m really interested.  Particularly DIY-style as I’m mega cheap.  Again, I’m looking for any of your tips in regards to painting walls, painting trim, painting cabinets, applying mosaic back splash and putting up pre-treated wood fences.  I will always be a DIY-er so the more the tips apply that way, the more excited I’m going to be!

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It takes a village, not just in raising your child

When you get married, you have this blissful ‘newlywed’ stage.  Well, most of the human race does.  I guess I had just been with Noah for so long that after the first week, it was business as usual.  While I do get a little more pitter patter in my heart when I call Noah ‘my husband’ now, I guess I sometimes take for granted the harmonious wavelength we are on.  While we weren’t always such a yin yang, we finally found our niche.  Shockingly, we really like being parents together.  I guess since we did our relationship ‘out of order’ by moving in together rapidly, moving across the country together rapidly, becoming home owners, becoming parents and THEN getting married, we found out we wanted the kiddo factor before getting married (not recommended in all situations, just happened to work for us).

How many times have you heard the phrase ‘It takes a village to….’?  Probably quite frequently as it is really tried and true.  Raising a child is not always easy and neither is having a successful marriage.  You truly need those around you who support the idea of marriage and even more specifically, your marriage, to make your vows last through and through.  You may have to realign some people and situations in your life to make this work, but if you are as committed as you said during your vows, this should not be so tough.  The reason for all the (positive) influence is so that in heated times, you have some clearer eyes to see something you are missing.  Same reason it’s important to listen to those around you who have children while you are in the newborn blur.  You will never have 20/20 vision in highly-emotional times and if you overreact, the mean fireworks are never good. (They are not as pretty as a well choreographed grand finale, but in YOUR mind, you’ve probably shown up The Chinese New Year.)

While it may not be your favorite idea to listen to those who have walked the line before you and it may not be exactly be what you would do, at least take it in like an informative brochure.  You might not need it now, but man, when the 9.0 quake hits, you’ll be ready.  Just know that just because everything may currently be smooth sailing, there may come a time when the world shifts around you and makes things very unpleasant.  Have that foundation and support around you and you will get through the shaky time quickly and be a better, more reliable couple after that.  It’s the least you can do for that thousands of dollar tab you two rang up celebrating this union, yeah?  In the spirit of Easter, hop to it!

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Looking into the future with hope and excitement

I, for once in this hectic year, get to look into the future and plan things that I’m not completely stressed about!  We have Lucas’ 1 year birthday party at the end of the month (really?  I would really like to know where this year went), a community clean up for our HOA, and we are beginning home projects this month!  As long as none of us end up in the hospital, I’m pretty stoked about the future!

There truly is so much to be grateful for right now.  It’s not often that I look over our calendar and I don’t see anything that brings absolutely dread over me.  Think about it: how often do you look over your calendar and not think ‘UGH, GAH! WHY DO I HAVE TO DO THAT?!’  For the last year, Lucas has definitely got me out of some situations, but mostly, he just made some situations more awkward. But eh, he’s a baby.

Tell me about some things you are looking forward to in the next couple months or even this year?  If there is planning involved, are you on track?  Each month I will do a blog post regarding whatever home project we are completing that month.  It will be after the project so I can share some tips we learned along the way.  If you have any tips to share with me regarding painting (walls, cabinets, trim), putting screens in windows (we are hiring a company so any recommendations would be great), putting up a backsplash in our kitchen and bathrooms, and putting up a wood fence (we are getting pre-treated wood since we live in an area with tons of rain), I will happily take all the tips we can get since we are first time homeowners and do-it-yourselfers.

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My WordPress Blogroll… I recommend these folks!

Have you been in a blog slump and need some good/informative reads?  Well, here are some folks I highly recommend!

In the DIY/Craft category: Sugar & Cloth, make great, Dragons Crafts and Projects, handmake my life, Lagniappe at home, A Joyful Dwelling, Cult of Crochet

In the Mom/Parenting category: FreeRangeKids, Some Species Eat Their Young, Momma Be Thy Name

In the Art category: Doodlemum, 30 minute art

I hope you enjoy them as much as I do… And be sure to say The Marners sent you!

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Let’s Talk over Happy Hour-Momodcasts

This mama sets the atmosphere for a happy hour chat regarding spring cleaning, fav/least fav times with your kiddos and shocking surprises… iTunes user or non-iTunes user

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