I always wanted to be a mom; some people have it in them, some people do not. I always hid my intentions as I didn’t think it would ever happen to us. Then, almost a year ago, I went through what I thought was going to be the worst of it. Yeah right! Giving birth is the easiest part! Last time I checked, that, too, was never mentioned in any class, parenting book or from one of those moms that doesn’t hesitate to share how her child is excelling in everything your child is not. But, then just as quickly as this all began, I woke up from the blur and I have this awesome little dude who talks back to me.
Now he’s almost walking on his own, he ‘repeats’ everything we say and he has more sass than most people I know! He’s a beautiful blend of my husband and I. 11 months ago, I never thought we would be here. And I’m actually sad that his cuddly baby days are numbered. But I was right when I said ‘Noah & I are not baby people; we are toddler people’. I’m really excited to move on to that chapter with Lucas. While I loved nurturing and being a watchful new mom, I’m ready to explore this world from a toddler’s perspective. I know some parents pride themselves in ‘helicopter parenting’; sorry, not I, my friend. While I want to put Lucas in a bubble so he doesn’t keep infecting my husband and I with bizarre viruses and hospitalizing us, I really want him to see the world for all it has to offer, good and bad.
Lucas Jay, I want you to know that while you were the greatest grief I’ve ever experienced in so many ways, you are and will always be the pride and joy we hoped you would be! While there are a couple things I could mention that would disappoint your father and I if you ever did (I don’t want to even put them in your head), I hope you know that your father and I will always be proud of you and support you. It’s what we do as parents! We can’t wait to celebrate with you and all our friends and family in a month the year long journey you have experienced. While I know it wasn’t perfect, we will never be someone’s idea of perfect, but dang it! we have always been so happy! You just keep being your awesome self, man!