I have NO concept of the ‘B’ word, on so many levels. But the main trouble I’m having is figuring out where I fit anymore. I know I’m a wife; I know I’m a mother; I know I’m a homeowner; I know I’m a cook; I know I’m a maid; I know I’m a nurse; I know I’m an IT specialist; I know I’m a interior designer; I know I’m a problem solver; I know I’m a chauffeur; I know I’m an event planner. So where am I?
I used to be a very outgoing, party type of girl so to quite suddenly be domesticated is really like being thrown into a whole new world. I was just blown away by how many personas I took on; some not so willingly. I often find myself confused about where I went or what do with myself. I also find it hard to figure out when it’s time for me to vent. All this pent up emotion really drains you!
My family has come on hard times, medically, and trying to find balance between my husband, my son and quiet time is really non-existent. I’m not really certain when the balance will happen but I’m not hopeless. If I became hopeless, then I would be failing myself and all that I believe in. I know one day this will all sort itself out and I’ll understand how to manage all of these hats. It’s just not going to happen right now. (And for someone with minimal patience, this is not always easy to comprehend.)
I’ll never believe I bear the bigger cross, I just have some moments that are heavier than others. This is currently one of those times and I know I’m strong enough to sort it out. One day….