A Mother’s Tale. Part 1: The Arrival

It’s amazing what information the internet shares about anything you can possibly think up.  I probably only notice this topic rising because I have Lucas, but wow, baby is on a lot of people’s brains!  Some hot topics: labor choices (before, during and after), baby care and values/disciplining.  I’m truly fascinated by what I’ve been reading in blogs, facebook posts and twitter posts.

I am truly loving how ‘back to the good ol’ days’ a lot of women are heading towards when it comes to the labor process.  A good deal of women are looking into home or water births and a lot want to skip the meds.  A lot of women are switching to midwives rather than doctors and a lot are developing their own birth plans.  Now here comes Chrystal’s take on that….

I was once that crazy.  I did at least stick to seeing a midwife, until a doctor had to intervene.  I wanted to avoid the meds and just power through it all as I understood I had a high pain tolerance.  I was no match for 13 hours of labor and hardly dilating.  It took a full 24 hours for Lucas to actually arrive, but 13 hours was spent battling scaring from a surgery that was to botch my chances of having Lucas. So after extreme exhaustion(yeah, I didn’t know what that was until there was Lucas) and thinking Lucas was going to rip me in half if I dilated or not, I finally gave in and went for the epidural.  Not apart of my birth plan, but boy was I happy and ready to push!  (They told me to just go to sleep as the show wasn’t going to happen that night… LAME!)  Now, 8 hours later, we wake up to a midwife informing me it was go time!  And just for the curious ones, yes, I had a lovely bowel movement in all of this.  It happens; bask in it as it’s the only time it will be ‘appropriate’ to do it in front of your partner.

Then Lucas was not recovering very well when it was time to push.  Ruh roh, here comes a doctor.  This doctor shows up after an hour and a half of me pushing and the midwife was looking pretty worried.  That wasn’t in my birth plan!  Neither were the 20 people who showed up in my room to sweep me away to the ER for an emergency c-section.  C-SECTION??!!  THAT WASN’T IN MY BIRTH PLAN AND NO ONE IN MY FAMILY HAS HAD ONE OF THOSE!!!  Now, as I lay on the table and I notice in the ridiculously bright surgical light over my head, I see what doesn’t even match a gory horror flick.  And I think to myself “I even considered having him at home?!  This looks like it could be a cow slaughter!  And as much as I love cleaning, I don’t want to clean THAT up”.   My birth plan had failed me and everything I had learned in all the classes hadn’t matched what I was going through.

The only thing that made all of this chaos wonderful was my man looking down at me and he had the most beautiful expression on his face that will never be matched.  Noah looked down at me (I’m sure he was ridiculously terrified) and he looked like he was ready for anything and he had everything under control.  See, Noah has had his fair share of time spent in a hospital with his kidney transplant so he had a better grip on the whole situation; this action plan freak was losing it!  And the split second before Lucas arrived into the world, I’ll never forget how crazy in love I was with Noah in just that moment.

We weren’t out of the woods yet.  Lucas arrives and he’s not crying.  Um, what?!  Where is this glorious ringing I’m supposed to hear?  Come to find out, from all the stress of labor, meconium was all over him and the nurses were holding him off from breathing so he wouldn’t get meconium aspiration.  Noah’s sister had this and she was in NICU for 2 months.  All of a sudden, I overhear someone talking to the NICU and they are whisking  him away to make sure he’s ok.  He was taken there for an hour and a half for monitoring, but Lucas was a-ok!  Even through all the pain, drugs, no birth plan working, no class practices working and a lovely trip back to the hospital 2 weeks later from a HORRIFIC c-section infection, Lucas is a super happy, healthy and smart little guy.

The lesson in this part of my series is that no matter the route you choose, it may not work and don’t beat yourself up over it.  I was afraid everything I was choosing in the heat of the moment was going to somehow hurt Lucas and I was dead wrong. I’m glad I opted for the hospital as even though I was considered ‘low-risk’, I turned ‘high-risk’ very quickly and was given immediate attention.  Obviously, every single person and every single birth experience is different (even within the same families), but I can only speak from my own experience.  I’m not here to ‘bash’ or ‘hate’ or ‘put down’ on anyone’s idea of what they think is the right route for them, I’m just offering up another ‘pamphlet’ or research tool for those who have not yet experienced giving birth.  It’s a whole different beast no one is ever ready to tackle.  And this post is not up for you to criticize my path.  If you have given birth before, you understand the plight I was put in to and you can only go off of what is set in front of you.

I want to say congrats to you if you are expecting as it’s the biggest miracle around!  I know as it took almost 5 years for our miracle to arrive.  That little one is going to be your greatest treasure and as their parent, you are the greatest being they will ever know so respect, appreciate and just love that little one as often as you can!  Lastly, your family is your greatest support team.  Do not overestimate that and absorb all the time you get with them and all the time they offer to help!

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