“To catch a husband is an art; to hold him is a job.”

(The title quote is from Simone de Beauvoir)

I never really had any concept as to what a husband would be like.  I don’t believe in fairy tales and I don’t believe in making up my ideas based on other people’s lives.  So, again, no concept.  When it came down to putting a serious ‘title’ to Noah and I, that just was NOT going to happen.  Why?  Because neither of us wanted to get hurt.

We both had our falling outs in love and just wanted nothing to do with the word.  But misery loves company.  Our relationship for a very long time was a series of circumstances.  Circumstances kept us together.  But what neither of us understood was that was the way the universe works.  Circumstances (or as I like to believe, God’s plan) put the right people together.  Yet, our circumstances were not fun.

We had a rocky go at it for years.  Mostly fueled by alcohol, but we weren’t too worried.  Twenty-something seems to have a drinking stigma to it.  Not a good one, but we weren’t going to judge or change it.  When the day came that we found out Lucas was on his way, we decided (after letting weeks go by to let the news sink in) to finally own up to being in love.  We always knew we were, but we are not that great at sharing these sorts of things.

I never really thought about what the actual ‘falling in love’ was going to be like, but wow, when it happened, it hit me like a drunk girl thinking I was hitting on her man (just not so bitter).  I felt like I had come out of a dizzying fog and there was this glow around Noah and he was going to make everything right.  All my thoughts suddenly made sense and being with Noah seemed so effortless.

It’s not always roses and rainbows; being in love and being married is a job.  You really do have to work at it, but it’s a job you both are willing to work at.  We’ve only been married for little less than 7 months, but we’ve been together for a good number of years.  Marriage was definitely like that job offer you’ve wanted since you knew what you wanted to do with your life.  I somehow knew domestic life was a right fit for me and Noah is able to give that to us as a family.

If I have to share anything in all of this, it’s be sure to hold out for the right partner.  No matter your beliefs, sexual orientation, or race, love will indeed be effortless and it will feel a lot better than getting hit by some drunken weirdo 😉 .

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2 thoughts on ““To catch a husband is an art; to hold him is a job.”

  1. I agree with what you’ve said here except for the effortless part. I’ve never experienced a love that was effortless. There are always pains somewhere along the line; there are always sacrifices that must be made, fights that will ensure, and make-ups that, hopefully, come along. Being hurt by something at some point is inevitable; it’s what you do afterwards that makes a difference.

    Lovely entry and it’s nice slowly getting to read your story as a couple, and now as a family.

  2. Damn typo *ensue, not ensure. /facepalm

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